THE HOMEPAGE

If I had the power to change the first-world zeitgeist, I’d do a few things:

1. make hats and long coats mainstream again
2. make love letters acceptable again
3. make dating start with a nonlegal contract stating boundaries and conditions
4. make relationships across any racial or ethnic boundary encouraged
5. make international media more popular outside its country of origin
6. make teaching as respected as being a doctor or lawyer
7. make prose writing more accepted as an extremely difficult form of art
8. make bouldering and climbing a core sport like running or swimming
9. make watches actually mainstream — basically everyone wears one
10. make working out as important as showering

Why do old tradies lowkey always have some poetic shit to say when it comes to complaining about bad practice?

The older you get the less acceptable it is to zone out in public. If you’re like 60 and stare into the distance in a restaurant you look like you’re judging the girl across the room for having short hair or something.